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Showing posts from June 14, 2009

Recent readers of this blog, geographical analysis

United States [68%] United Kingdom [14%] Germany [4%] South Africa [2%] Canada [2%] Sweden [1%] India [1%] Poland [1%] Iraq [1%] Portugal [1%] Israel [1%] Moldova [1%] Hungary [1%] France [1%] Japan [1%]

Big fat juicy hamburgers, and other stuff

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When I was in the work world I was well organised. There were tasks at hand, and by and large I would accomplish them in an orderly and prompt way. I would often make lists of “things I had to do” the next day. In retirement there is always “tomorrow”. So I have become a bit of a procrastinator where tidying up, doing dishes, ironing etc. are concerned. Penne my dog takes longer to find the perfect place to poop than some humans take to choose a life partner. Adelaide, the junior cat, loves to be outdoors. I watched her this afternoon as she rolled over and over on my driveway, in apparent bliss to be in the great outdoors. Later she came to the back door, mewing to be let in. As soon as I opened the door she ran away - just to annoy me. Ada, the senior cat prefers to eat and sleep. Or sleep and eat. It seems that debit card readers at gas stations and supermarkets may be too clever by half. Gas station readers demand my zip code, ask me whether or not I want a receipt, and when I thin

Political Apology

Dear Constituent, I regret having the affair, taking the bribe, lying to the committee, sitting on the report, raiding your trust fund, hiding the evidence, fudging the numbers, cooking the books, blocking the investigation, leaving the filthy voice mail message, spilling the beans, fabricating the facts, sending the inappropriate email, granting the crony special favors, dodging the question, violating the ethics code, missing the deadline, blowing off the meeting, circumventing the proper procedures, throwing the tantrum, leaking the classified information, covering up the money trail, accepting the unlawful gifts, destroying my opponent's reputation, playing the race card, egging on the crazies, making the crude analogy, deleting the files, cutting off the funding, violating the protocol, starting the bar fight, speeding through the red light, shouting obscenities during the commencement speech, and kicking the cat. I assure you it was all just a simple misunderstanding. Sincere

Thunderstorms: G-d and me

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(Image from NASA) My good friend Ben invited me to dinner tonight, and I was glad to accept. He is a funny and truthful pal. He is also a good cook! As I sat on his Lanai before dinner I heard rumbles of thunder in the distance. I enjoyed this sound . It brought back some good memories. English children of my generation were told that the sound of thunder was caused by the delivery of coal in heaven. I s’pose we were told this so as not to be afraid. In fact, I (and probably most other children) knew that this was a silly tale, and we sensed that we should be nervous in the face of thunderstorms cos our parents were nervous. I wonder what English children are told these days. They have never seen or burned coal, let alone witnessed its delivery. I learned to enjoy thunder and lightning storms. I remember cuddling in a car with my girl friend Jan back in about 1965. We were in rural Worcestershire, and had stopped in the face of heavy rain as a massive thunderstorm. As we cuddled we r

A change of tone, with a bit of silliness

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents'. A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle'. A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning'.

Another reason why the G.O.P. makes me friggin' angry

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This picture was sent out by a staffer at the Tennessee G.O.P. Here's the story http://www.nashvilleistalking.com/2009/06/sen-diane-blacks-r-gallatin-legislative-aid-circulates-racist-email/ It purports to be a chart of American Presidents. Do we believe that racism is dead in these United States? Do you understand why I am pissed off at the G.O.P.? Do you remember in which State the Revd. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr was assasinated?

G.O.Pocrisy

The G.O.P. is launching a series of attacks on the President’s health care reform plan by labeling it as “socialist”. This begs a few questions! First: What is so implicitly evil about socialism? Have G.O.P. members never read any history – and therefore do they not understand that there have been versions of democratic socialism in western Europe which have been hugely successful. Second: When Republican administrations bail out failed Saving and Loans, or failed Banks, why is this called “prudent business” and not “socialism”? Third: Would every honest and fair minded Republican please henceforth refuse to receive Social Security or Medicare health benefits. If Republicans are so opposed to “socialism” it seems fair to ask that they refuse to benefit from these “socialistic programs”.

Summer Classes for Men ( thanks to my pal Elizabeth Kaeton for this)

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Summer Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, August 17th 2009 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00