This just in.....
In a move designed to enhance National Security, President Bush today ordered the closure of all weather forecasting services throughout the World.
In a recorded statement Pres. Bush said “my chief concern is to project the Mercun people by providing nashnal shukurty at every level”.
The President went on to outline what he thinks some one once told him was the threat.
“Frintstance there are tererists in Vermont, waiting for a blizzard so that they can put rice in the nations supply of maple syrup. We all know the threat from rice in. We cannot give them advance notice with weather forecasts.
Throughout this great and free country there are dangerous cells of Al Colda recruits believed to be harbouring vast and mobile supplies of W.M.C’s (Weapons of Mass Cooling). In the ‘vent of a heat wave forecast they are even now preparing to plug in these W.M.C’s and thus overload the system and cause nashnul blackouts, and chaos in this Administrayshun”.
The President went on to outline what he saw as the dangers of hurricane forecasts. “These”, he said, “cause our southern border to be at great risk. Billions of illegal aliens are waiting in kayaks in the Gulf, just off Mexico, ready to paddle to this great and free country under the cover of a hurricane. We cannot assist them by providing warnings of hurricanes”.
In a related matter the President made reference to what he called “the myth of Global Warming”. He stated that he would deal with this in a forthcoming executive order. “In order to fulfil my solum oath to protect and defend this Nashun I will shortly announce the abolishment of weather. This bold act will deliver all God-fearing Mercuns from the fear mongering of the liberal press”.
The President ended by stating that he would consider outlawing rice in Chinese and South American dishes. He will stand firm, he went on to say, from the threat of rice in.
(via The Apoviated Press)
In a recorded statement Pres. Bush said “my chief concern is to project the Mercun people by providing nashnal shukurty at every level”.
The President went on to outline what he thinks some one once told him was the threat.
“Frintstance there are tererists in Vermont, waiting for a blizzard so that they can put rice in the nations supply of maple syrup. We all know the threat from rice in. We cannot give them advance notice with weather forecasts.
Throughout this great and free country there are dangerous cells of Al Colda recruits believed to be harbouring vast and mobile supplies of W.M.C’s (Weapons of Mass Cooling). In the ‘vent of a heat wave forecast they are even now preparing to plug in these W.M.C’s and thus overload the system and cause nashnul blackouts, and chaos in this Administrayshun”.
The President went on to outline what he saw as the dangers of hurricane forecasts. “These”, he said, “cause our southern border to be at great risk. Billions of illegal aliens are waiting in kayaks in the Gulf, just off Mexico, ready to paddle to this great and free country under the cover of a hurricane. We cannot assist them by providing warnings of hurricanes”.
In a related matter the President made reference to what he called “the myth of Global Warming”. He stated that he would deal with this in a forthcoming executive order. “In order to fulfil my solum oath to protect and defend this Nashun I will shortly announce the abolishment of weather. This bold act will deliver all God-fearing Mercuns from the fear mongering of the liberal press”.
The President ended by stating that he would consider outlawing rice in Chinese and South American dishes. He will stand firm, he went on to say, from the threat of rice in.
(via The Apoviated Press)
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