When I was horribly religious (1)

By the time I was 13 I had been (re) baptized by immersion at Chelsea Gospel Hall. Not surprisingly, precocious as I was, I was quickly “in fellowship”, and able to sit in front of the boards, and eat the bread/drink the wine.

I was so “holy” that it makes me sick! I attended the weekly meetings for biblical exposition (the “Ministry Meeting”), and the weekly “Prayer Meetings”.

I was filled with sound, but without fury. Someone reported, with obvious pride, that I “prayed like an old man”, but Eddie Iles, one of the youth leaders, admonished me to “pray like a young man”. Mr. “Super Young Plymouth Brother” was not receptive to this advice!

Eddie Iles and others began a Boys Club - “the Venturers”. We met in Ernie Cox’s workshop. This was not to my liking. I was hopeless at table-tennis (ping-pong), and at wood-work - one of the skills taught at “Venturers”.

(Later, the “Venturers” moved to an old Church Hall off Russell Town Avenue. My youngest brother, Martyn, was quite active there for a while. When I was maybe 23, and Martyn was 13, he mis-behaved at home. In a fit of “super-righteousness” I reported this bad behaviour to Graham Hunt, one of the Venturers leaders, stating that Martyn was not worthy to be a club member. What a prig I was. Soon after, Martyn stopped attending the Club.)

Between the ages of 12 and 15 I attended the “Bristol Boys and Girls Holiday Camp” for one week each summer. This Camp had three weeks for girls and three for boys. We camped near the seaside at Berrow Sands, Somerset, in ex-Army bell tents.

Despite being “Brethren” the camp leaders had semi military titles with the “Commandant” (Commie) in charge; the “Adjutant” (Adgie) as his assistant, and the Chaplain who was always known as “Padre” (Paddie).


Eight boys slept on straw mattresses (palliasses) in each tent. Mornings included “quiet times”, rigorous “tent inspection”, breakfast, a Bible talk, and then sports on the beach.

In the afternoon we would take long hikes - to Brean Down, to Brent Knoll, and to Burnham on Sea. At Burnham we would love to go to the ice cream parlour and eat a “Knickerbocker Glory” - a huge ice-cream in a dish, with fruit and fresh cream - costing “two and six” (two shillings and six pence - or half- a crown).

Back at Camp in the evening, after supper, we would all deploy to the recreation hut for singing, and an evangelistic talk. The hut was lit with “Tilley Lamps” (Paraffin/Kerosene lamps - pumped up under pressure) and the light and heat were intense.

Each evening we were urged to “give our lives to Jesus”, or to re-dedicate them. There was always a great amount of preaching about impurity, so many of us held out to the last night - having enjoyed a bit of mutual masturbation in our tents after “lights-out”.

But the “holiest” of us would inevitably surrender to Jesus on that last night, convinced that life would henceforth be temptation free.

And I would return home, sad as a wet cat because Camp was over; and convinced that I would stay close to Jesus, and have a daily “quiet time with the Lord”. By the next Thursday, all this was behind me, and life was back to normal - sex at the top of my mind - as for every pubescent boy!