If Only.......

 I dined out last evening (11th Sep)  at





a delightful restaurant on Orange Ave, Sarasota.


I wasn't deeply hungry so I had the soup of the day, which looked something like this


It was good, but because it was the soup of the day and not on the menu I can't remember what it is called!

I was with my friends and neighbours Rick and John.  We were there to greet Christian D who is the New York city correspondent for Suddeutsche Zeitung,  Germany's leading daily newspaper.

I met Christian in 2017 when we were both on the Queen Mary II, traveling from Southampton to New York.

He is in town to prepare a feature article for Suddeutsche Zeitung on Sarasota and the General Election.

We had a good time.  The food was fine, and the company was excellent.

But I did not have a great time.   Nothing to do with Rick, John, Christian; or the food.

It wasn't great because I find it almost impossible to relax in the moment.   It's a curse, but I am ever thinking about the next thing I have to do (in last night's case to be at home with Zion).

I had a conversation with myself at dinner last night  "Relax, relax, relax. Allow yourself to unwind". Be present to the moment.

It's an old issue.  Once, when I lived in Pittsfield, MA, as I drove home from grocery shopping I was thinking about in which order I will unpack my groceries.  That's extreme!

My itchiness extends to my sleep.   About six years ago I had an overnight sleep test.  Next morning the Doctor told me that I was one of the most restless sleepers he had every encountered.

Now please; this is not a letter to an "Agony Aunt".  Your possible suggestions as to how to unwind are not needed or welcome!

But do understand and forgive me if you every get the impression that when we are together I am rationing my time with you.  I probably am!   It's nothing to do with you!  It's everything to do with me.

Maybe I should smoke some weed (!), but that would present its own set of problems!

Blessings!








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