Sunday, 29 June 2008

Impending shortages

First, do you know that the words “impending”, “pendant”, “pendulous” and “pendulum” have common roots.

Look them up in your dictionary and you’ll get the hang of it.

Second, there are impending shortages. The shortages will be due to over-use.

There will be a shortage of exclamation marks. Demand for these exceeds supply.

Here is an example from the lid of a can (tin) of Bumblebee Tuna fish.

Our best albacore ever!

Packed with more tuna!

No vegetable broth added!

First to experience the shortage will be writers in Spanish. For they use two exclamation marks (one inverted), whilst writers in English use only one.

Ease off you writers in Spanish.
You are using more than your fair share of exclamation marks.

There will also be a shortage of rhetoric. Greedy advertisers are using more than their fair share.

Here is an example from a packet of “Whisker Lickin’s” cat treats:

“There’s A scrumptious Variety For Every Mood!

When you curl up with your cat, something truly special happens.
Make the most of the moment by giving a treat so delectable. So savoury,
Your cat won’t want the moment to end.”

Please be prepared to live with these shortages.

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