I have often thought that they are assembled from leftover “Shredded Wheat” breakfast cereal: - and that they need to be loaded with cheese, or hummus, or tabouli in order to make them moderately palatable.
Nonetheless I bought a 9.5 oz (what an odd weight) box of “Triscuit - Hint of Salt” crackers a week or two ago.
I ate them all.
Then I collapsed the box before placing it in my recycling bin.
’Twas then and only then that I read the purple prose on a side panel.
Here’s what I read (with no changes in grammar or capitalisation)
“At Triscuit, we believe less is more. That’s why we bake our crackers with quality ingredient like Soft White Winter Wheat.
Soft White Winter Wheat is grown in places like the Great Lakes region of North America by farmers who are skilled in harvesting this crop.
We like to think of Soft White Winter Wheat as a kind of cashmere of wheat because of its soft texture and delicious taste. It’s what gives Triscuit its golden color, distinctive crunch and 24 grams of delicious whole grain goodness per serving.”
If I had but read that side panel in the supermarket - I would have bought a dozen or more boxes of this “cashmere of wheat”, and used the contents to knit a scarf or a cardigan.