Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Dog pee

There is a market for spray bottles of dog pee.

About half an hour ago I was trying to walk outside as I took Penne out for her “before bed pee”.

“Trying to walk” is accurate. More about that in a bit.

Anyway, I wanted Penne to have a quick pee, so you could have overheard me cajoling her in my most dulcet tones. “Nice pee, nice pee” I repeated at length. But of course canines have to find that exact spot where another dog has recently sprayed.

After some time, and at her own sweet pace, Penne found her pee place, either in spite of, or because of my earnest pleas.

‘Twas during this nocturnal peregrination that I wished for a spray bottle of dog pee. I could then have sprayed on my front lawn so that Penne could do her thing without delay, and I could get off my feet.

For you see, on Monday morning I awoke with intense pain in my left hip. I had not fallen or injured myself - the pain simply developed overnight. After 60 hours the pain has not diminished. Walking is extremely difficult.  So I will be seeing my physician first thing in the morning.

I’ve been trying to limp around as best I can, partly because I am defiant, and partly because I am trying to be helpful to my best pal Ben whose right (or is it left?) leg is in a cast from toes to just below the knee. He fell on Nov 20th and fractured two bones in his ankle.

Driving is painless, though getting in and out of my car is difficult. So I managed to get to Resurrection House this morning for my Wednesday morning prayer service, and to St. Boniface Church this evening for the
5:30 p.m. Eucharist (at which I was celebrating and preaching) – and the parish dinner which follows.

Being out and about a bit has reminded me of something I already knew. When one has back or joint pain every third person one meets is an expert diagnostician, and knows exactly what remedy to prescribe.

I am amazed that some many people who have never even seen a Medical School have such expertise.

The cool thing is that they can make a diagnosis and suggest a remedy without any physical examination of the sufferer!

As you might infer, I have received so much “medical advice” today. I’ll share the views of one expert. She asked me to point out where the pain was most acute. I pointed to my left hip. The pain, she assured me, was caused by “money problems”.

I was too kind to point out that if her “new age” diagnosis was correct, 98% of Americans would have painful hips!

I have no doubt that my pain is temporary, and that my good Doctor will suggest some efficacious treatment. So I do not need to be on any “prayer chains”, nor do I wish for any “get well” cards!

My sole regret concerns my friend Betsy from Pittsfield. She was to have flown down tomorrow for a five days visit. She has done so in the previous three Decembers to celebrate her Dec 7th birthday.

I am not up to hosting a guest for five days so I’ve asked her to postpone her trip until the New Year.

“Onward and upward!”

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