Abusive spouses

Most days when I walk out early in the morning  I encounter C.   She is a tall, lean, and very good looking woman, about my age. She walks purposefully, and with great energy,

She is from the greater Boston area, so we often, in passing,  rejoice or lament the fate of the Boston Red Sox.

Yesterday she chose to walk with me for a couple of circuits around a local pond.  She started a conversation with "You, being a Minister, I thought I could ask you....."

At these words my heart sank a little.  I knew that something trivial (about Clerics), or serious (about her life) was coming up.

It was about her life.  She has been married for 53 years to a man who is a spendthrift and an alcoholic. A  man who is orally very abusive. She wanted my advice as to whether or not she should seek a legal separation.

I listened fairly well.  I tried to get her to tell me what she wanted.  I refused to tell her what to do.

(Inside I was thinking "Why  the hell have you put up with 53 years of misery?". But on this I kept my lips zipped.)

Later in the day I "happened" upon this link.  It helped me to get a better perspective on her dilemma.

http://www.coloradoan.com/article/20111028/OPINION04/110280329/We-need-learn-right-questions




http://www.coloradoan.com/article/20111028/OPINION04/110280329/We-need-learn-right-questions

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Shoe insults

Last year I consulted with a local podiatrist: Dr. Robert F Herbold Jr. D.P.M. 4717 Swift Rd., Sarasota , FL – 34231  because I was being bothered with a couple of bunions  (yes I am at that age). I was very impressed with this Doctor.  He agreed that I had bunions, but he ventured that it was much too soon for surgery. (Now there’s a first). Instead he recommended some “arch supports” to relieve the tension for my feet, a tension which was exacerbating the bunions. What’s more -  he told me that he sells these arch supports at the miserly sum of $2.50 each (about 1/5 of the price in the local pharmacies). He is an honest man, and I recommend him to anyone with foot problems. So, a couple of weeks ago, having purchased some new walking shoes, I knew that I needed to buy a couple of new arch supports I took myself to his office. Once there, my mind went blank. I wanted to ask his front desk Clerk if I could buy some “shoe inserts” , as I could not remember the words “ar
Read more

The background, the couple, my friends, the wedding ceremony, the Shaykh, the Priest,

Image
The background   I have known the Keller/Bonsey family since 2000 when I became the Rector at St. James's, Cambridge, MA. They (Elisabeth Keller and the Revd. Steven Bonsey with their four children Noah, Sam, Josiah and Annie) had come back to Cambridge from Hawaii where Steve had been the Rector of an Episcopal parish. Steve had just been appointed as a Chaplain at Tufts University (no Sunday morning duties) so the entire family was able to enrich our common life at St. James's - which they did with great love and joy. I count them as friends and have stayed in touch with them since my retirement.  Noah, the oldest son is eloquent in Arabic (he spent a year in Damascus when Syria was a safe place).  He has developed a super career as an analyst of social media in the near East.    Noah worked in Tampa for a while a few years ago, so he and I were able to get together a few
Read more

It began in Bristol U.K. "A man dies" and "Jesus Christ Superstar"

Image
I well remember the swirling controversy in Bristol, U.K. when a (Presbyterian) Minister the Revd, Earnest Marviin created a ":Rock Opera", called "A Man Dies"  in and for his congregation in the Lockleaze area of Bristol, U.K. Earnest Mrvin I was a sixteen years old member of the Plymouth Brethren Church back in those days, so I most likely disapproved of "A Man Dies" .  We, (the Plymouth Brethren),  disapproved of everything! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I had forgotten all about "A Man Dies" until earlier today when saw these pictures on the "Bristol, Then and Now"  Facebook page.   St. James Presbyterian Church, Lockleaze, Bristol  The Bristol Then and Now page includes the following commentary: Lockleaze, Bristol  -  'Jesus Christ Superstar' began at St.James (Presbyterian) Chur
Read more