Friday, 4 November 2011

Abusive spouses

Most days when I walk out early in the morning  I encounter C.   She is a tall, lean, and very good looking woman, about my age. She walks purposefully, and with great energy,

She is from the greater Boston area, so we often, in passing,  rejoice or lament the fate of the Boston Red Sox.

Yesterday she chose to walk with me for a couple of circuits around a local pond.  She started a conversation with "You, being a Minister, I thought I could ask you....."

At these words my heart sank a little.  I knew that something trivial (about Clerics), or serious (about her life) was coming up.

It was about her life.  She has been married for 53 years to a man who is a spendthrift and an alcoholic. A  man who is orally very abusive. She wanted my advice as to whether or not she should seek a legal separation.

I listened fairly well.  I tried to get her to tell me what she wanted.  I refused to tell her what to do.

(Inside I was thinking "Why  the hell have you put up with 53 years of misery?". But on this I kept my lips zipped.)

Later in the day I "happened" upon this link.  It helped me to get a better perspective on her dilemma.

http://www.coloradoan.com/article/20111028/OPINION04/110280329/We-need-learn-right-questions




http://www.coloradoan.com/article/20111028/OPINION04/110280329/We-need-learn-right-questions

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